CKWilliams_青春与岁月的诗歌【中英文对照】

1.I thought I would read poems I have that relate to the subject of youth and age.
在这里，我会朗读一些有关 青春与岁月的诗作。
2.I was sort of astonished to find out how many I have actually.
这一主题的诗作的收集，我个人都很是惊异
3.The first one is dedicated to Spencer, and his grandmother, who was shocked by his work.
第一首诗献给 斯潘塞，他的外祖母曾很惊异于他的职业
4.My poem is called “Dirt.”
这首诗作名字为”尘“
5.My grandmother is washing my mouth out with soap; half a long century gone and still she comes at me with that thick cruel yellow bar.
我的祖母用肥皂清洗我的嘴 半个世纪过去了 她的影子依旧存在 携着她令人畏惧的黄色细长棒子
6.All because of a word I said, not even said really, only repeated.
这一切都是因为我说的话 甚至并非是”说“，这是”重复“
7.But “Open,” She says, “open up!”
但是她依旧不依不饶。“张开”她说，“张嘴”
8.her hand clawing at my head.
她拉扯着我的脑子
9.I know now her life was hard; she lost three children as babies, then her husband died too, leaving young sons, and no money.
我知道她有一段刻骨铭心的艰难岁月 她的三个女儿都在襁褓里夭折 她的丈夫也去世了 在他们的孩子还年轻时，一贫如洗
10.She’d stand me in the sink to pee because there was never room in the toilet.
她让我站在水槽边小便 因为房间里没有卫生间
11.But oh, her soap!
但是，她的肥皂
12.Might its bitter burning have been what made me a poet?
永远是那么的苦涩，灼伤着我的嘴唇 是什么驱使着我写这首诗？
13.The street she lived on was unpaved, Her flat, two cramped rooms and a fetid kitchen where she stalked and caught me.
她的房前道路是未铺砌的 两个狭小的房间，一个散发着恶臭的厨房，就是她公寓的全部 她轻声的走在我身旁，抓住我
14.Dare I admit that after she did it I never really loved her again?
经历如些，我依旧感激她会做此 我有没有爱过她？
15.She lived to a hundred, even then. All along it was the sadness, the squalor, but I never, until now loved her again.
她的岁数近百 直至现在，她依旧被悲伤与卑鄙牵绊着 我曾经从未察觉，直至现在 才发现我曾爱过她
16.When that was published in a magazine I got an irate letter from my uncle.
我的诗作印在杂志上是 我的叔叔发来了一封嗔责的信
17.”You have maligned a great woman.”
“你的诗作恶意的诽谤了一位伟大的女人。”
18.It took some diplomacy.
我为此解释了一番
19.This is called “The Dress.”
那首诗叫做“衣裳”
20.It’s a longer poem.
是一首长诗
21.In those days, those days which exist for me only as the most elusive memory now, when often the first sound you’d hear in the morning
那段日子 那段我的个人感受高于一切的日子里 那是我最想抹去的记忆 当我每天早上醒来时候，最先听到的
22.would be a storm of birdsong, then the soft clop of  the hooves of the horse hauling a milk wagon down your block, and the last sound at night as likely as not
是小鸟的叫声 接连着马蹄踏地的声音 路上行着拉着装有牛奶的车 而夜晚的声音似乎都是
23.would be your father pulling up in his car, having worked late again, always late, and going heavily down to the cellar, to the furnace,
父亲开车归家 他又加班了，而且加班的很晚 他进入地窖，走向火炉旁
24.to shake out the ashes and damp the draft before he came upstairs to fall into bed — in those long-ago days, women, my mother, my friends’ mothers,
弄出死灰，熄灭火种 然后才上床睡觉 在这段长长的时间里 女人，母亲，朋友的母亲
25.our neighbors, all the women I knew — wore, often much of the day, what were called housedresses, cheap, printed, pulpy, seemingly purposefully shapeless
我的邻居，我知道的所有女性 她们的穿着，与那个时代相符 被我们称作是家居服的 廉价的印染与质料 似乎是刻意的貌不惊人
26.light cotton shifts that you wore over your nightgown and, when you had to go look for a child, hang wash on the line, or run down to the grocery store on the corner,
在晚上才会穿轻质棉 当她们照看孩子时 将洗好的衣服一件件挂起来 或者是去杂货店购物
27.under a coat, the twisted hem of the nightgown always lank and yellowed, dangling beneath.
穿着风衣 有着睡衣的丝边 几乎是黄色而稀疏的 在下端摇晃
28.More than the curlers some of the women seemed constantly to have in their hair in preparation for some great event — a ball, one would think —
一些女人烫后的卷发 似乎永远不会变 那些重要的集会 一场舞会，会有人想
29.that never came to pass; more than the way most women’s faces not only were never made up during the day, but seemed scraped, bleached,
不应错过 那些日子，女人的脸上 都化着她们从未化过的妆 不均匀的，漂白的
30.and, with their plucked eyebrows, scarily masklike; more than all that it was those dresses that made women so unknowable and forbidding,
还有那些剃的光光的腋下，夸张的面具 比那更为不堪的，是那些衣服， 展现着女性的愚昧与禁忌
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31.adepts of enigmas to which men could have no access, and boys no conception.
早已熟稔了那些男人们为她们做的规定 当他们还是男孩时，并无此概念
32.Only later would I see the dresses also as a proclamation: that in your dim kitchen, your laundry, your bleak concrete yard, what you revealed of yourself
后来我看到的那些衣裳 像是一份声明 在你那昏暗的厨房内，你的洗衣间 在哪结实的混凝土场地里面 你身上被读出的信号
33.was a fabulation; your real sensual nature, veiled in those sexless vestments, was utterly your dominion.
是一个虚构的故事 你的肉欲 被呆板的教衣掩盖住 一丝不漏
34.In those days, one hid much else as well: grown men didn’t embrace one another, unless someone had died, and not always then; you shook hands
曾经，兽皮是何样 成熟的男人的身上不会环绕此 除非有人逝去 并非永久，你颤抖的双手
35.or, at a ball game, thumped your friend’s back and exchanged blows meant to be codes for affection; once out of childhood you’d never again know
或者，一场球赛，重重的摔在你朋友的背上 交流，打击，都是感情的代码 当你长大，你永远不会再次感受
36.the shock of your father’s whiskers on your cheek, not until mores at last had evolved, and you could hug another man, then hold on for a moment,
你的脸颊被父亲的胡渣亲昵 随着你的成熟而消逝 你会拥抱另一个人，拥抱一会
37.then even kiss (your fathers bristles white and stiff now).
甚至最后亲吻（现在，你父亲已经对你毫无亲热 除了严肃的神情）
38.What release finally, the embrace: though we were wary — it seemed so audacious — how much unspoken joy there was in that affirmation of equality and communion,
最后留下的，拥抱 虽然我们警惕 – 这似乎如此大胆 不言而喻的喜悦多少有 在这平等和交流的肯定中
39.no matter how much misunderstanding and pain had passed between you by then.
不管有多少误会 疼痛已经过去了，届时您之间。
40.We knew so little in those days, as little as now, I suppose about healing those hurts: even the women, in their best dresses, with beads and sequins sewn on the bodices,
我们曾经知道的太少 如同我们的年龄 伤痛如何愈合？ 甚至妇女们，穿上他们最好的服装 与珠和紧身衣缝亮片，
41.even in lipstick and mascara, their hair aflow, could only stand wringing their hands, begging for peace, while father and son, like thugs,
即使在口红，睫毛膏， 与他们飘动的头发 她们的手却泄漏了秘密，忧心忡忡 祈求和谐 他们的丈夫与儿子，如同暴徒
42.like thieves, like Romans, simmered and hissed and hated, inflicting sorrows that endured, the worst anyway, through the kiss and embrace,
盗贼，不切实际的 引来仇恨，妒怨 造成痛苦的经历， 无论生活如何糟糕 亲吻和拥抱，
43.bleeding from brother to brother, into the generations.
血缘联系 代代相传
44.In those days there was still countryside close to the city, farms, cornfields, cows; even not far from our building with its blurred brick and long shadowy hallway
曾经的乡村 靠近城市，农场，玉米地，奶牛; 彼此相连 废弃的砖瓦，阴暗的走廊
45.you could find tracts with hills and trees you could pretend were mountains and forests.
你会看到，大片的山丘，还有树林。 你可以认为他们是山丘与树林
46.Or you could go out by yourself even to a half-block-long empty lot, into the bushes: like a creature of leaves you’d lurk, crouched, crawling, simplified, savage, alone;
或者其他 甚至半个街区长的空地， 在丛林中，像暗中窥视的野兽 蹲，爬，粗暴的，野蛮的，孤独的
47.already there was wanting to be simpler, wanting, when they called you, never to go back.
只是想更是简单 希望，当他们叫你， 从来没有回去。
48.(Applause) This is another longish one, about the old and the young.
（掌声） 这是另一首长诗 关于年轻人与年长者
49.It actually happened right at the time we met.
切合当下
50.Part of the poem takes place in in space we shared and time we shared.
诗的一部分是关于 我们共享的时间与空间
51.It’s called “The Neighbor.”
这首诗叫做“邻居”
52.Her five horrid, deformed little dogs who incessantly yap on the roof under my window.
她那五只畸形的小狗 在不停地狂吠屋顶下我的窗口。
53.Her cats, God knows how many, who must piss on her rugs, her landing’s a sickening reek.
她的猫，上帝知道有多少， 谁应该对她的地毯小便过 她身上臭气冲天。
54.Her shadow once, fumbling the chain on her door, then the door slamming fearfully shut, only the barking and the music — jazz — filtering as it does, day and night into the hall.
她的影子配合着她摸索着门链的声音 门砰的医生关上了 只有叫声和音乐 – 爵士乐 – 因为它的过滤，日夜进入大厅。
55.The time it was Chris Connor singing “Lush Life” — how it brought back my college sweetheart, my first real love, who — till I left her —
当时，这是克里斯康纳唱“郁郁葱葱的生命” – 如何带回了我的大学恋人， 我第一次真正的爱，谁 – 直到我离开了她 –
56.played the same record.
有着相同的记录
57.And head on my shoulder, hand on my thigh, sang sweetly along, of regrets and depletions she was too young for, as I was too young, later, to believe in her pain.
在我的肩上，手头枕在我的大腿， 甜蜜，遗憾与消逝 她太年轻了， 因为我太年轻，以后，相信她的痛苦。
58.It startled, then bored, then repelled me.
开始，高潮，再到结束
59.My starting to fancy she’d ended up in this fire-trap in the Village, that my neighbor was her.
我猜想她要结束这场热恋 在这个村里，她是我的邻居。
60.My thinking we’d meet, recognize one another, become friends, that I’d accomplish a penance.
我的想法 我们愿意配合，相互承认， 成为朋友，我想实现一个苦修。
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61.My seeing her, it wasn’t her, at the mailbox.
我看见她的信，实际上并不是她的
62.Gray-yellow hair, army pants under a nightgown, her turning away, hiding her ravaged face in her hands, muttering an inappropriate “Hi.”
灰色黄色的头发，军队裤子，睡衣下 她离开了，转过她那张受到侮辱的脸庞 此刻，不应该说“你好。”
63.Sometimes there are frightening goings-on in the stairwell.
有时有可怕的往来，就在楼梯间。
64.A man shouting, “Shut up!”  The dogs frantically snarling, claws scrabbling, then her — her voice hoarse, harsh, hollow, almost only a tone,
一名男子大喊：“闭嘴！”疯狂的狗狂吠， 爪摸索，然后她 – 她的声音 沙哑，苛刻，中空， 几乎只有一个音调，
65.incoherent, a note, a squawk, bone on metal, metal gone molten, calling them back, “Come back darlings, come back dear ones.
不连贯，一说明，发牢骚， 甚至金属都能融化 呼喊着归来 “回来亲爱的，亲人回来。
66.My sweet angels, come back.”
我的，甜天使回来。“
67.Medea she was, next time I saw her.
美狄亚她，下一次我见到她。
68.Sorceress, tranced, ecstatic, stock still on the sidewalk ragged coat hanging agape, passersby flowing around her, her mouth torn suddenly open
魔幻的，出神的，欣喜若狂， 仍旧竖在两旁的秸秆 破烂的衣服，令人厌恶的挂着 她周围的路人流动， 她的嘴撕裂突然打开
69.as though in a scream, silently though, as though only in her brain or breast had it erupted.
仿佛在尖叫， 虽然默默，好像只有在她的脑子 或者想要喷火的胸部
70.A cry so pure, practiced, detached, it had no need of a voice, or could no longer bear one.
那么纯洁，与世无关的，经常似的 它没有一个声音的需要， 或者不愿承受的
71.These invisible links that allure, these transfigurations, even of anguish, that hold us.
那些不被注意的信号 那些痛苦，全部得占有着我
72.The girl, my old love, the last lost time I saw her when she came to find me at a party, her drunkenly stumbling, falling, sprawling, skirt hiked, eyes veined red,
这名女孩，我的旧爱， 好久不见 当她在派对上见到我， 她忘情地舞蹈，坠落 裙摆摇荡，眼里布满着血丝
73.swollen with tears, her shame, her dishonor.
骄傲的眼泪，她的羞耻 她的耻辱。
74.My ignorant, arrogant coarseness, my secret pride, my turning away.
我的无知，傲慢粗糙， 我的底线，我走来了
75.Still life on a rooftop, dead trees in barrels, a bench broken, dogs, excrement, sky.
静物的屋顶， 木质的桶，破碎不堪 一只狗的粪便，空气
76.What pathways through pain, what junctures of vulnerability, what crossings and counterings?
什么途径通过痛苦， 什么样的关节是如此的脆弱 过去，遇见
77.Too many lives in our lives already, too many chances for sorrow, too many unaccounted-for pasts.
在我们的生活已经有太多的生命， 太多的悲伤 太多以往的过往
78.”Behold me,” the god of frenzied, inexhaustible love says, rising in bloody splendor, “Behold me.”
“看我，”疯狂的神 不竭的爱说， 上升血腥的辉煌，“看我。”
79.Her making her way down the littered vestibule stairs, one agonized step at a time.
她用她 降低到处前庭楼梯， 一步步的向我走来
80.My holding the door.
我拽住大门。
81.Her crossing the fragmented tiles, faltering at the step to the street, droning, not looking at me, “Can you help me?”
她穿越分散瓷砖， 蹒跚在街头的一步， 轰鸣，背对着我 “你能帮助我吗？”
82.Taking my arm, leaning lightly against me.
抓住我的胳膊，在她身旁轻轻扶住
83.Her wavering step into the world.
她成为世界动摇的一步。
84.Her whispering, “Thanks love.”  Lightly, lightly against me.
她耳语，“感谢爱。”轻轻，轻轻对我。
85.(Applause) I think I’ll lighten up a little.
（掌声） 我想我会减轻了一点。
86.(Laughter) Another, different kind of poem of youth and age.
（笑声） 另一首，是关于青春与岁月的诗作
87.It’s called “Gas.”
它被称为“屁”
88.(Laughter) Wouldn’t it be nice, I think, when the blue-haired lady in the doctor’s waiting room bends over the magazine table and farts, just a little,
（笑声） 那岂不是很好，我认为， 当蓝头发女士在医生的候诊室 弯下杂志表 身后一声轻响
89.and violently blushes.
脸涨红
90.Wouldn’t it be nice if intestinal gas came embodied in visible clouds, so she could see that her really quite inoffensive pop had only barely grazed my face
岂不是好的，如果肠道气体 像是天上可见的云 这样她可以看出，她真的很无害的弹出 只有勉强擦过我的脸
91.before it drifted away.
只是轻轻的点
92.(Laughter) Besides, for this to have happened now is a nice coincidence.  Because not an hour ago, while we were on our walk, my dog was startled by a backfire
（笑声） 此外，这个现在已经发生 是一个不错的巧合。就在一个小时前， 当我们对我们的步行， 我的狗是由适得其反吃惊
93.and jumped straight up like a horse bucking.
直上跳下，像马一样屈曲。
94.And that brought back to me the stable I worked on weekends when I was 12, and a splendid piebald stallion, who whenever he was mounted would buck just like that,
我却对此很镇定 在我12岁是，我会做周末零工 灿烂的花斑种马， 每当他是谁安装将责任推就这样，
95.though more hugely of course, enormous, gleaming, resplendent.
尽管更多的巨大当然， 巨大的，闪闪发光，灿烂。
96.And the woman, her face abashedly buried in her “Elle” now, reminded me — I’d forgotten that not the least part of my awe consisted of the fact that with every jump he took
女人的脸上写着尴尬 深埋在她的“Elle”里，我依稀记得 我忘记了，不是我至少是部分敬畏 包括事实，那就是他每跳
97.the horse would powerfully fart.
马会有力地放屁。
98.Phwap!  Phwap!  Phwap!
砰！砰！砰！
99.Something never mentioned in the dozens of books about horses and their riders I devoured in those days.
一些从未提及 在与马有关的书籍几十 和我在那些日子里吞噬车手。
100.All that savage grandeur, the steely glinting hooves, the eruptions driven from the creature’s mighty innards, breath stopped, heart stopped, nostrils madly flared,
所有这些野蛮宏伟， 闪闪发光的钢铁般蹄， 从动物的内脏强大驱动的爆发， 呼吸，心跳停止，鼻孔扩张
101.I didn’t know if I wanted to break him, or be him.
我不知道我是想打他，或者是变成他
102.(Laughter) (Applause) This is called “Thirst.”
（笑声） （掌声） 这首诗叫做“渴望。“
103.Many — most of my poems actually are urban poems.  I happen to be reading a bunch that aren’t.
其实很多，其实大部分我的诗作 都是城市诗，我会在野餐时候阅读，或许不会
104.”Thirst.”
”渴望。“
105.Here was my relation with the woman who lived all last autumn and winter, day and night, on a bench in the 103rd Street subway station,
我与一个女人相处，半年 一天晚上，长椅上 在103街地铁站，
106.until finally one day she vanished.
有一天她忽然不见
107.We regarded each other, scrutinized one another.
我们把彼此相互审议。
108.Me shyly, obliquely, trying not to be furtive.
我羞怯地，间接地，尽量不是偷偷摸摸。
109.She boldly, unblinkingly, even pugnaciously, wrathfully even, when her bottle was empty.
她激烈的，癫疯的 整个人防空
110.I was frightened of her.  I felt like a child.
我被吓坏了。我觉得像一个孩子。
111.I was afraid some repressed part of myself would go out of control, and I’d be forever entrapped in the shocking seethe of her stench.
我怕自己有些压抑的一部分 会失控，而我会永远包埋 在她的恶臭令人震惊的翻腾。
112.Not excrement merely, not merely surface and orifice going unwashed, rediffusion of rum, there was will in it, and intention, power and purpose,
不只是粪便，而不仅仅是表面 还有藏在细节里的污垢 朗姆酒的香气 是在那里面散发的 有力的，刻意的
113.A social, ethical rage and rebellion, Despair too, though, grief, loss.
一个社会，道德的愤怒和反抗， 绝望过，但是，悲痛，损失
114.Sometimes I’d think I should take her home with me, bathe her, comfort her, dress her.
有些时候，我想把带她回家， 洗澡她，安慰她，她的衣服。
115.She wouldn’t have wanted me to, I would think.
她不会要我，我相信。
116.Instead, I’d step into my train.
相反，我想踏进我的列车。
117.How rich I would think, is the lexicon of our self-absolving.
如何丰富，我觉得，是词汇 我们的自我开脱。
118.How enduring, our bland fatal assurance that reflection is righteousness being accomplished.
如何持久，我们的乏味致命的保证 这种思考是义正在完成。
119.The dance of our glances, the clash, pulling each other through our perceptual punctures, then holocaust, holocaust.
我们的眼神舞蹈， 冲突中，通过相互拉动 我们的知觉穿刺， 然后大屠杀，大屠杀。
120.Host on host of ill, injured presences, squandered, consumed.
主机对生病，受伤存在主机， 浪费，消耗。
121.Her vigil somewhere I know continues.
她的晚会，我知道的地方继续。
122.Her occupancy, her absolute, faithful attendance.
她住，她的绝对忠诚出席会议。
123.The dance of our glances, challenge, abdication, effacement, the perfume of our consternation.
我们的眼神，挑战，放弃舞蹈， 抹杀，我们惊愕的香水味
124.(Applause) This is a newer poem, a brand new poem.
（掌声） 这是一首新诗，一种新的
125.The title is “This Happened.”
名字叫做“这发生了”
126.A student, a young woman in a fourth-floor hallway of her lycee, perched on the ledge of an open window chatting with friends between classes;
一个学生，少妇 在第四层走廊她的公立中学， 蹲在一个开放窗台 聊天类之间的朋友;
127.a teacher passes and chides her, “Be careful, you might fall,”
老师的推诿和责怪她， 小心，你可能会堕落
128.almost banteringly chides her, “You might fall,”
几乎是嘲弄似的责怪她 你会堕落
129.and the young woman, eighteen, a girl really, though she wouldn’t think that, as brilliant as she is, first in her class, and “Beautiful, too,” she’s often told,
但是作为18岁的少妇，一个女孩 并不认为此 她是全班最聪明的， 还有这美貌，她如此说
130.smiles back, and leans into the open window, which wouldn’t even be open if it were winter, If it were winter someone would have closed it (“Close it!”)
微笑回来，把打开的窗口倾斜， 这将甚至无法打开如果是冬天， 如果是冬天有人已经关闭了（“关闭它！”）
131.leans into the window, farther, still smiling, farther and farther, though it takes less time than this, really an instant, and lets herself fall.
倾斜到窗口，更远，仍然微笑着， 越走越远，尽管它会比这花费更少的时间 的确是在一瞬间，让自己下降。
132.Herself fall.
她在下降
133.A casual impulse, a fancy, never thought of until now, hardly thought of even now …
一个偶然的冲动，一个幻想， 从来没有想过到现在，即使是现在很难想到的…
134.No, more than impulse or fancy, the girl knows what she’s doing, the girl means something, The girl means to mean, because it occurs to her in that instant,
不超过冲动或幻想， 女孩知道她做的事， 女孩意味着什么， 该女童手段的意思是， 因为它发生她在那一刹那，
135.that beautiful or not, bright yes or no, she’s not who she is, she’s not the person she is, and the reason, she suddenly knows, is that there’s been so much premeditation
那美丽与否，光明是或否， 她不是她是谁， 她不再是曾经的她 她突然知道为何 就是有这么多有预谋
136.where she is, so much plotting and planning, there’s hardly a person where she is, or if there is, it’s not her, or not wholly her,
她是这么多的策划和规划， 几乎没有一个人是她， 或者如果有，这不是她的，她的或不完全，
137.it’s a self inhabited, lived in by her, and seemingly even as she thinks it she knows what’s been missing: grace, not premeditation but grace,
它是一个自我居住的她， 甚至她像是已经获晓 她知道什么东西被丢失： 尊严 并非智谋，是尊严
138.a kind of being in the world spontaneously, with grace.
那种浑然天成的气质 带着尊严
139.Weightfully upon me was the world.
对我来说那就是世界
140.Weightfully this self which graced the world yet never wholly itself.
对个体来说那就是世界 但从来没有完全本身。
141.Weightfully this self which weighed upon me, the release from which is what I desire and what I achieve.
这样的本意，就已经对我如此重要 我咎由自取 该是这样
142.And the girl remembers, in this infinite instant already now so many times divided, the sadness she felt once, hardly knowing she felt it,
而女孩记得，在这无限的瞬间 对少次的分离 她感到的悲伤一次， 根本不知道她觉得，
143.to merely inhabit herself.
仅仅自己居住。
144.Yes, the girl falls, absurd to fall, even the earth with its compulsion to take unto itself all that falls must know that falling is absurd,
是的，女孩跌倒，荒谬的下降， 甚至地球与强制 她在下降 要知道，是荒谬的下降，
145.yet the girl falling isn’t myself, or she is myself, but a self I took of my own volition unto myself.
那个女孩不属于我自己 或她就是我自己， 但自我注意到我自己的意志祂自己。
146.Forever. With grace.
带着永恒的尊严
147.This happened.
这已经发生了
148.(Applause) I’ll read just one more.  I don’t usually say that.
（掌声） 我还要读一首，着并非我的习惯
149.I like to just end.
我喜欢只是这样的结果
150.But I’m afraid that Ricky will come out here and shake his fist at me.
但是我害怕瑞奇会到这来 然后挥着她的拳头
151.This is called “Old Man,” appropriately enough.
“hi，老头，行了“
152.Special.  Big tits.
特别的
153.Says the advertisement for a soft-core magazine on our neighborhood newsstand.
说的软核杂志广告 在我们的邻里报摊。
154.But forget her breasts.
忘记了她的胸脯
155.A lush, fresh-lipped blond, skin glowing gold, sprawls there, resplendent.
光润，清新明亮的金发， 皮肤发光的金子 辉煌。
156.60 nearly, yet these hardly tangible, hardly better than harlots, can still stir me.
60已过，却依旧闪耀 几乎比妓女好，让我荡漾
157.Maybe a coming of age in the American sensual darkness, never seeing an unsmudged nipple, an uncensored vagina, has left me forever infected
也许是在时代的到来 性感黑暗的美国 从来没有看到一个乳头 与处女膜 给我留下永远感染
158.with an unquenchable lust of the eye.
用眼睛难以抑制的欲望。
159.Always that erotic murmur, I’m hardly myself if I’m not in a state of incipient desire.
总是这样色情杂音， 总是这样色情杂音， 如果我不是在一个初始状态的愿望。
160.God knows though, there are worse twists your obsessions can take.
上帝知道，虽然， 有严重曲折的迷恋可以。
161.Last year in Israel, a young ultra-orthodox Rabbi guiding some teenage girls through the Shrine of the Shoah forbade them to look in one room.
去年在以色列，一个年轻的极端正统犹太教 指导通过浩劫靖国神社有些少女 禁止他们寻找一个房间。
162.Because there were images in it he said were licentious.
因为那里有淫秽的图
163.The display was a photo.  Men and women stripped naked, some trying to cover their genitals, others too frightened to bother, lined up in snow
在展出的照片。男子和妇女被剥光衣服， 一些试图掩盖他们的生殖器， 别人不敢打扰， 白色的背景，一字排开
164.waiting to be shot and thrown into a ditch.
等待拍摄成一条水渠里扔。
165.The girls, to my horror, averted their gaze.
姑娘们，我的恐惧， 避免了他们的目光。
166.What carnal mistrust had their teacher taught them.
什么肉体的不信任有自己的老师教给他们。
167.Even that though. Another confession: Once in a book on pre-war Poland, a studio portrait, an absolute angel, an absolute angel with tormented, tormenting eyes.
即使是另一个的自白。 一旦在学前教育方面的书战前波兰， 一室画像，一个天使， 与折磨，折磨眼睛绝对的天使。
168.I kept finding myself at her page.
我不停地发现自己在她的页面。
169.That she died in the camps made her — I didn’t dare wonder why — more present, more precious.
她死于劳改营使她 – 我不敢想知道为什么 – 更多目前，越来越珍贵。
170.Died in the camps, that too people — or Jews anyway — kept from their children back then.
在难民营中死亡，过多的人 – 或犹太人 保留子女当时的情况。
171.But it was like sex, you didn’t have to be told.
但它像性行为，你没有被告知。
172.Sex and death, how close they can seem.
性别和死亡，如何接近他们看来。
173.So constantly conscious now of death moving towards me, sometimes I think I confound them.
所以，现在不断意识到死亡的走向我， 有时候我想我混淆他们。
174.My wife’s loveliness almost consumes me.
我妻子的可爱太销魂了
175.My passion for her goes beyond reasonable bounds.
我对她的热情超出了合理的范围。
176.When we make love, her holding me everywhere all around me, I’m there and not there.
当我们做爱时，她抱着我 覆盖我身上的没一次 我那里不存在。
177.My mind teems, jumbles of faces, voices, impressions, I live my life over, as though I were drowning.
我的头脑恍惚，脸部抽搐，声音也不清楚 我住在我的生活，仿佛我是溺水。
178.Then I am drowning, in despair at having to leave her, this, everything, all, unbearable, awful.
然后，我淹死，在绝望中 在不得不离开她， 这一点，一切，所有， 无法忍受的，可怕的。
179.Still, to be able to die with no special contrition, not having been slaughtered, or enslaved.
不过，能够死 没有特别忏悔， 没有被宰杀，或奴役。
180.And not having to know history’s next mad rage or regression, it might be a relief.
并没有认识历史的未来 疯狂的愤怒或倒退， 它可能是一种解脱。
181.No. Again, no.
没有，就是没有
182.I don’t mean that for a moment.
我并非刻意渲染那一刻
183.What I mean is the world holds me so tightly — the good and the bad — my own follies and weakness that even this counterfeit Venus
我指的是，这个世界把我勒住 无论是好事，还是坏事 我的愚昧与软弱 甚至假的Venus女神都不起作用
184.with her sham heat, and her bosom probably plumped with gel, so moves me my breath catches.
她的假热，她的胸脯 是如此的诱人。 我的喘息都清晰可见
185.Vamp. Siren. Seductress.
鞋面。警报器。勾引。
186.How much more she reveals in her glare of ink than she knows.
这些信号都是她的 在她的油墨眩光比她知道。
187.How she incarnates our desperate human need for regard, our passion to live in beauty, to be beauty, to be cherished by glances, if by no more, of something like love,
她如何做到的 人类在绝望时候寻求的帮助 我们的激情是活在美好中 被夸赞美好，被瞩目 如果没有，那就用爱的衍生品来代替
188.or love.
或者就是爱
189.Thank you.
谢谢